I was lamenting to the Lord how I seem to have lost focus in my spiritual disciplines, saying things in my heart like; "I need a fasting day again... I need more time in the prayer room... WHAT AM I DOING? I used to pray in tongues for hours!... I need to do that again! I need to hop back on the blog-pony and drop serious bombs again! :) Here's what the Lord said when He interrupted my rant with His still small voice...
He said, "Tom, all those things are 'finish line' issues... I want you to focus on the starting line, My love." Suddenly I remembered the verse in 1John: "...We love Him because He first loved us" He continued, "Tom how does it make you feel when your wife does things for you out of a sense of duty rather than out of love? I am the same way, I want your actions to flow from a revelation of My love for you and your love for Me. And if you get to that starting line and do everything from that place, I promise you that you will get to the finish line, because 'Love never fails."
HURRY AND WAIT
The next time I was at the prayer room do you know what I did? I stopped stressing about getting all the revelation on the Priesthood out of the book of Hebrews and I just said, "OK, You want to love me here, fine... Jesus how do you love me?" I wrote it on my notebook and just waited until I felt like He answered, much faster than I expected, He said, "I speak well of you to others." I wrote that down... it seemed like a strange answer but I was content to wait.
I began to realize that every prophetic word I've gotten brought edification and comfort to an atmosphere of condemnation that had been around my heart. As bad as I felt someone would come along and tell me how God felt, how He saw me and how He loved me.
Within minutes after writing the words, "I speak well of you to others" I had three people come to me in the prayer room and prophesy over me the word of the Lord that lined up and confirmed so many things going on in my heart.... after a good cry I journaled all my fresh words just underneath the heading, "I speak well of you to others." I could get used to this starting line theology :)
God how do you feel about me? I don't want to do things out of a sense of duty but from a revelation of love... so go ahead God, let me have it. How do you feel about me? How do you love me?